


All Hell Breaks Loose: Part Two (2.22)

by ackles_ass_equation



Series: Superghetto [45]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Azazel's Special Children, Crossroads Deals & Demons, Devil's Gate, Devil's Trap, Episode: s02e22 All Hell Breaks Loose, Sam Winchester's Demonic Powers, Season Finale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-14
Updated: 2016-06-14
Packaged: 2018-07-15 02:44:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7203074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ackles_ass_equation/pseuds/ackles_ass_equation
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Afta tha fight between Jake n' Sam, Dean has ta make tha illest sacrifice fo' his brutha n' shit. Meanwhile tha Yellow-Eyed Demon has his freshly smoked up servant n' plans ta unleash tha hordez of Hell.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. NOW

INTERIOR. It aint nuthin but daytime outside (as peeped all up in tha windows).

We peep SAMz dead body.

DEAN is standin near, lookin at SAMz body.

**BOBBY  
** (arrives, holdin a funky-ass bucket of fried chicken) Dean, biatch? Brought you dis back.

**DEAN  
** Fuck dat shit, props. I be fine.

**BOBBY  
** Yo ass should smoke something.

**DEAN  
** I holla'd I be fine.

DEAN takes a swig from a funky-ass forty of whiskey.

**BOBBY  
** Dean... I don't give a fuck bout ta brang dis up, I straight-up do. But don't you be thinkin maybe itz time... we bury Sam?

**DEAN  
** No.

**BOBBY  
** We could (Sighs) maybe...

**DEAN  
** (calmly) What, biatch? Torch his corpse, biatch? Not yet.

**BOBBY  
** I want you ta come wit mah dirty ass.

**DEAN  
** I aint goin anywhere.

**BOBBY  
** Dean, please.

**DEAN  
** Would you cut me some slack?

**BOBBY  
** I just don't be thinkin you should be alone, thatz all. I gotta admit, I could use yo' help.

DEAN snorts

**BOBBY  
** Somethang big-ass is goin down- end-of-the ghetto big.

**DEAN (yelling)  
** Well, then let it end!

**BOBBY  
** Yo ass don't mean that.

**DEAN**  
(gets up n' standz up in BOBBYz face)  
Yo ass don't be thinkin so, biatch? Huh, biatch? Yo ass don't be thinkin I've given enough, biatch? Yo ass don't be thinkin I've paid enough, biatch? I be done wit dat shit. All of dat shit. And if you know whatz phat fo' you, you'd turn around, n' git tha hell outta here.

**BOBBY  
** standz there, bobbin his head.

**DEAN**  
(shovin BOBBY suddenly)  
Go! (yelling)  
(pause, then contritely:  
I be sorry as a muthafucka bout dat bullshit. I be sorry as a muthafucka bout dat bullshit. Please, just go.

**BOBBY**  
(turnin around, sighing)  
Yo ass know where I be bout ta be.

Dude turns his back on Dean n' leaves tha room. Dean swallows hard, n' looks at SAMz body; a tear falls from his wild lil' fuckin eye.


	2. ACT ONE

FADE IN: WOODS. NIGHT

JAKE is chillin up in a cold-ass lil campsite wit a gangbangin' fire burnin yo. Dude is dozin off yo, but awakes suddenly ta peep tha Yellow EAZAZEL Demon standin up in front of his muthafuckin ass.)

 **AZAZEL  
** Howdy, Jake.

 **JAKE  
** I'm- be trippin, aren't I?

 **AZAZEL  
** (to his dirty ass) I gots a smart-ass on mah hands. Well props, Jake. Yo ass is it-last playa standing. Da Gangsta Idol. I gotta admit, you weren't tha cow I was bettin' on yo, but still, I gotta give it ta you, biatch.

 **JAKE  
** Go... ta hell.

 **AZAZEL  
** Been there, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Done that.

 **JAKE  
** Everythang you put me through-draggin me ta dat place, makin me bust a cap up in dem people...

 **AZAZEL  
** All part of tha beauty pageant. Jake, I needed tha strongest, n' thatz you, biatch.

 **JAKE  
** Needed mah crazy ass fo' what?

 **AZAZEL  
** Oh, I gots a laundry list of dirty thangs fo' you, biatch.

 **JAKE  
** Da only thang I'ma do is wake up, hunt you down, n' bust a cap up in you mah dirty ass.

 **AZAZEL  
** Yo ass know, others have tried. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! It aint nuthin but not easy as fuck . Trust me, Jake. Yo ass wanna be a phat lil soldier here.

 **JAKE  
** And if I be not?

 **AZAZEL  
** If you a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirty-ass shitty-ass lil soldier, well, dat dear oldschool momma of yours, dat adorable lil sista ... I be bout ta make certain dat they both live long enough ta know tha chewy taste of they own intestines. (pause) Fuck dat shit, Jake. I aint bluffing.

 **JAKE  
** What do you want me ta do?

 **AZAZEL  
** Like I holla'd- smart-ass .

  
CUT TO

SAM'S corpse lyin on a mattress. DEAN chillin next ta him, grieving.

 **DEAN**  
Yo ass know, when we was lil- n' you couldn't been mo' than 5- you just started askin thangs yo. How tha fuck come our phat asses didn't gotz a mom, biatch? Why do we always gotta move around, biatch? Where'd Dad go when he'd take off fo' minutes at a time, biatch? I remember I begged you, "Quit asking, Sammy. Man, you don't wanna know."  
I just wanted you ta be a kid... Just fo' a lil while longer n' shit. I always tried ta protect you, biatch... Keep you safe... Dad didn't even gotta tell mah dirty ass. Dat shiznit was just always mah responsibility, you know, biatch? It aint nuthin but like I had one thang... I had one thang...  
And I screwed it up. (pause) I blew dat shit. And fo' that, I be sorry as a muthafucka bout dat bullshit. (wipes tears from his wild lil' face)  
I guess thatz what tha fuck I do. I let down tha playas I love. I let Dad down. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch fo' realz. And now I guess I be just supposed ta let you down, like a muthafucka.  
How tha fuck can I, biatch? How tha fuck is I supposed ta live wit that?  
(crying)  
What is I supposed ta do, biatch? Sammy. Dogg.  
What is I supposed ta do, biatch? (inhalez sharply)  
WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?! (yelling)

  
CUT TO:

Nighttime. Impala engine revving. Headlights turn on n' DEAN drives recklessly, lookin pale n' determined. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude stops on a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirt road n' bangs nuff muthafuckin shit tha fuck into a funky-ass box, includin a (fake) photo ID of his dirty ass yo. Dude buries tha box up in tha middle of a cold-ass lil crossroadz n' stands. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Several secondz pass up in silence, as DEAN looks right n' left.

 **DEAN  
** Oh come on already. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Show yo' face, you biiiatch!

(Suddenly, a funky-ass dope biatch up in a funky-ass black dress appears.)

 **DEMON  
** Easy sugar, you gonna wake tha neighbors. (Bitch flashes red eyes fo' a moment.) Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Well shiiiit, it is so,  _so_  phat ta peep you, biatch. (Inhalez sharply) I mean dat shit. Look at you, biatch. Gone n' gots yo' crew capped. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! All ridin' solo up in tha ghetto. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! It aint nuthin but too dope. Excuse me, you gonna gotta break me off a moment. (Bitch strutts ta Dean, grill ta face, close.) Sometimes you gotta stop n' smell tha roses.

 **DEAN  
** I should bust you straight back ta hell.

 **DEMON  
** Oh, you should. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! But you won't fo' realz. And I know why.

 **DEAN  
** Oh yeah?

 **DEMON  
** Yeah. Peepin up in Daddyz footsteps. Yo ass wanna cook up a thugged-out deal. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. Little Sammy back from tha dead, and-let me guess- you offerin up yo' own soul?

 **DEAN  
** There is a hundred other demons who'd ludd ta git they handz on it fo' realz. And itz all yours fo' realz. All you gots ta do is brang Sam back fo' realz. And give me ten years- ten years, n' then you come fo' mah dirty ass.

 **DEMON  
** Yo ass must be clownin.

 **DEAN  
** Thatz tha same ol' dirty deal you give dem hoes else.

 **DEMON  
** Yo ass aint dem hoes else. (Whisperin up in Deanz ear) Why would I wanna hit you wit anything, biatch? Keep yo' gutta ass. It aint nuthin but too tarnished, anyway.

 **DEAN  
** (nodding) Nine years.

 **DEMON  
** No.

 **DEAN  
** Eight.

 **DEMON  
** (laughs) Yo ass keep going, I be bout ta keep sayin no.

 **DEAN  
** Okay, five years. Five years, n' mah bill comes due. Thatz mah last offer- five muthafuckin years or no deal.

 **DEMON  
** (Leanin up in as if fo' a kiss) Then no deal.

 **DEAN  
** Fine.

 **DEMON  
** Fine. (Walkin away) Make shizzle you bury Sam before da perved-out muthafucka starts stinkin up tha joint.

 **DEAN  
** (flinches) Wait.

 **DEMON  
** (Softly) It aint nuthin but a gangbangin' fire sale, n' every last muthafuckin thang must go.

 **DEAN  
** What do I gotta do?

 **DEMON**  
First of all, quit groveling. Needy muthafuckas is such a turnoff.   
(Sighs)  
Look... Look, I shouldn't be bustin all dis bullshit. I could git up in a shitload of shit. But what tha fuck can I say, biatch? I gots a funky-ass blind spot fo' you, Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Yo ass is like a... puppy. Yo ass is just too funk ta play with.  
(Sighs)  
I be bout ta do dat shit.

 **DEAN  
** You'll brang his ass back?

 **DEMON  
** I will fo' realz. And cuz I be such a saint, I be bout ta hit you wit one year, n' one year only. But herez tha thang. If you try n' welch or weasel yo' way out, then tha deal is off. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sam drops dead as fuckin fried chicken. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Dat punk back ta rotten meat up in no time. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So... It aint nuthin but a funky-ass betta deal than yo' daddy eva got. What do you say?

DEAN grabs tha demon n' kisses her ta seal tha deal.

  
CUT TO:

SAMz eyes open wide n' da perved-out muthafucka sits up on tha mattress, lookin around, confused, n' breathang heavily.


	3. ACT TWO

FADE IN: MOTEL ROOM (dawn or early morning)

SAM is standin up in front of a mirror, examinin his back, wincing, wit a look of pain. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. There be a scar from where tha knife was jabbed tha fuck into his spine. In tha distizzle a thugged-out door opens n' DEAN entas tha room.

 **DEAN  
** Sammy, biatch? Thank god.

 **SAM  
** Hey.

DEAN pulls SAM tha fuck into a tight embrace.

 **SAM  
** Owwww. Uh, Dean...

 **DEAN  
** (Releases SAM) I be sorry as a muthafucka bout dat bullshit. I be sorry, man. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I be just... I be just aiiight ta peep you up n' around, thatz all. (SAM nods, lookin puzzled.) Come on, sit tha fuck down. (Both sit)

 **SAM  
** Okay. Dean... what tha fuck happened ta me son?

 **DEAN  
** Well, what tha fuck do you remember?

 **SAM  
** I-I saw you n' Bobby, and... I felt dis pain. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. This sharp pain, like... white-hot, you know, n' then you started hustlin at me, and... thatz bout dat shit.

 **DEAN  
** Yeah, that- dat kid, jabbed you up in tha back. Yo ass lost a shitload of blood, you know.... Dat shiznit was pretty bust a nut on n' go fo' awhile.

 **SAM  
** But Dean, you can't- you can't patch up a wound dat bad.

 **DEAN  
** Fuck dat shit, Bobby could. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck was dat kid, anyway?

 **SAM  
** His namez Jake. Did yo dirty ass git him?

 **DEAN  
** Fuck dat shit, da ruffneck disappeared tha fuck into tha woods.

 **SAM  
** We gots ta find him, Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. And I swear I'ma tear dat lil hustla of a funky-ass biiiatch apart. (SAM standz up wit DEAN followin suit.)

 **DEAN  
** Whoa, whoa, whoa. Easy, Van Damme. Yo ass just woke up, all right, biatch? Letz git you suttin' ta smoke yo. Huh, biatch? Yo ass want suttin' ta eat? (SAM nods) I be starving. Come on.

  
CUT TO:

DEAN n' SAM chillin at a table, smokin.

 **SAM  
** And thatz when you muthafuckas flossed up.

 **DEAN  
** Thatz wack naaahhmean, biatch? Skanky Andy.

 **SAM  
** Da demon holla'd he only wanted one of our asses ta strutt up kickin it.

 **DEAN  
** Dude holla'd at you that?

 **SAM  
** Yep. (Scoffs) Dude rocked up in a thugged-out dream.

 **DEAN  
** Dude rap anythang else?

 **SAM  
** (Shakes head) No. No. That was dat shit. Nothang else. Yo ass know, what tha fuck I don't get, Dean, is if tha demon only wanted one of us, then how tha fuck did Jake n' I both git away?

 **DEAN  
** Well, I mean, they left you fo' dead as fuckin fried chicken. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I be shizzle they thought dat shiznit was over. (Eats a big-ass bite of pizzy n' turnin away) So now dat Yellow Eyes has Jake, whatz he gonna do wit him?

 **SAM  
** I don't give a gangbangin' fuck. But whatever it is, we gots ta stop his muthafuckin ass.

 **DEAN  
** Well, hold on. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Yo ass need ta git yo' rest. We gots time.

 **SAM  
** Fuck dat shit, our phat asses don't.

 **DEAN  
** Sam, oceans aren't boiling, aiiight, biatch? Frogs aren't drizzlin from tha sky. Letz git you yo' strength back first.

 **SAM  
** Well did you call tha roadhouse, biatch? They know anything?

 **DEAN  
** Yeah. (looks away)

 **SAM  
** Dean... what tha fuck is it?

 **DEAN  
** (Sittin down) Da roadhouse burned ta tha ground. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Ash is dead as fuckin fried chicken. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Probably Ellen- a shitload of other hunters, like a muthafucka.

 **SAM  
** (tears up in his wild lil' fuckin eyes) Demons?

 **DEAN  
** Yeah, we be thinkin so. We be thinkin cuz Ash found something.

 **SAM  
** What did he find?

 **DEAN  
** Bobbyz hustlin on dat n' aint a thugged-out damn thang dat yo' ass can do.

 **SAM  
** Well, come on then. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Bobbyz only all dem minutes away. (SAM begins ta stand.)

 **DEAN  
** (DEAN standz also n' grabs SAM by tha shoulders.) Whoa, whoa, whoa. Stop, Sam, stop! Damn dat shit. Yo ass almost took a dirt nap up in there, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. I mean, what tha fuck would I 've- can't you just take care of yo ass fo' a lil bit, huh, biatch? Just fo' a lil bit?

 **SAM  
** I be sorry as a muthafucka bout dat bullshit. No.

DEAN shakes his head.

CUT TO:

Impala rollin down a road.

  
CUT TO:

A hand knockin on a thugged-out door. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. BOBBY opens tha door n' looks at SAM wit astonishment.

 **DEAN  
** Yo, Bobby. (Dude looks at BOBBY n' looks away again n' again n' again almost immediately.)

 **SAM  
** Yo, Bobby.

 **BOBBY  
** Sam. It aint nuthin but phat ta ... peep you up n' around.

 **SAM  
** Yeah ... props fo' patchin me up. (SAM pats BOBBY on tha shoulder n' strutts past his ass tha fuck into tha house.)

 **BOBBY  
** Don't mention dat shit. (DEAN bigs up. BOBBY looks at his ass hard, vibratin wit unspoken emotion.)

 **DEAN  
** (stiffly) Well Samz mo' betta n' shiznit fo' realz. And we back up in it now, so... what tha fuck do you know?

SAM looks at DEAN curiously.

 

INT. BOBBY'S HOUSE

 **BOBBY  
** Well, I found something. But I aint shizzle what tha fuck tha hell it means.

 **SAM  
** What tha fuck iz it?

 **BOBBY  
** Demonic omens... like a gangbangin' frickin' tidal wave. Cattle dirtnaps. Lightnin storms. Boy it's gettin hot, yes indeed it is. They skyrocketed from outta nowhere, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Here. (Dude points ta Wyomin on a map.) All round here, except fo' one place... Downtown Wyoming.

 **DEAN  
** Wyoming?

 **BOBBY  
** Yeah. That one areaz straight-up clean- spotless. It aint nuthin but almost as if...

 **SAM  
** What?

 **BOBBY  
** Da demons is surroundin dat shit.

 **DEAN  
** But you don't give a fuck why?

 **BOBBY  
** Fuck dat shit, n' by dis point mah eyes is swimming. Sam, would you take a peep it, biatch? Maybe you could catch suttin' I couldn't.

 **SAM  
** Yeah, sure.

 **BOBBY  
** Come on, Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I gots some mo' books up in tha truck. Help me lug 'em in.

 **DEAN  
** Yeah.

  
CUT TO:

DEAN n' BOBBY struttin up in tha junkyard. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Finally, BOBBY stops n' turns ta grill DEAN.

 **BOBBY  
** Yo ass wack ass muthafucka! What did you do, biatch? (DEAN looks away.) What did you do?! (Dude pushes DEAN.) Yo ass done cooked up a thugged-out deal... For Sam, didn't yo slick ass, biatch? How tha fuck long did they give yo slick ass?

 **DEAN  
** Bobby.

 **BOBBY  
** How tha fuck long?!

 **DEAN  
** One year.

 **BOBBY  
** Damn it, Dean.

 **DEAN  
** Which is why we gotta find dis yellow-eyed lil hustla of a funky-ass biiiatch. Thatz why I'ma bust a cap up in his ass mah dirty ass. I mean, I gots not a god damn thang ta lose now, right?

 **BOBBY  
** (Dude grabs DEAN by tha collar) I could throttle you, nahmean biiiatch?

 **DEAN  
** What, n' bust me downstairs ahead of schedule?

 **BOBBY  
** (Dude lets go of DEAN) What tha fuck iz it wit you Winchesters, huh, biatch? You, yo' dad. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Yo ass is both just itchin ta throw yourselves down tha pit.

 **DEAN  
** Thatz mah point. Dad brought me back, Bobby. I aint even supposed ta be here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho fo' realz. At least dis way, suttin' phat could come outta it, you know, biatch? I--I--It aint nuthin but like mah game could mean something.

 **BOBBY  
** What, biatch? And it didn't before?! Has you done gots dat low of a opinion of yo ass, biatch? Is you dat screwed up in tha head?! (Dude grabs DEAN again)

 **DEAN  
** (Chokin up) I couldn't let his ass die, Bobby. I couldn't. Dat punk mah brother.

 **BOBBY  
** How tha fuck is yo' brutha gonna feel when he knows yo' goin ta hell, biatch? How'd  _you_  feel when you knew yo' daddy went fo' yo slick ass?

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass can't tell his muthafuckin ass. Yo ass take a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirty-ass blasted at me, whatever you gots ta do yo, but please don't tell his muthafuckin ass.

BOBBY begins ta cry, grabbin DEAN'S chin. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Suddenly there be a cold-ass lil clank from a gangbangin' finger-lickin' distant part of tha junkyard. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! BOBBY n' DEAN crawl ta tha side of a cold-ass lil car, n' grab tha intruder n' shit. Once they have her by tha shoulders, they recognize her as ELLEN.

 **DEAN  
** Ellen? (ELLEN nods, startin ta cry) Ellen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Oh, Dogg. (They embrace.)


	4. ACT THREE

CUT TO:

ELLEN n' BOBBY chillin at a table yo. Dude pours her a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirty-ass blasted of liquid from a gangbangin' flask n' pushes it towardz her muthafuckin ass.

 

 **ELLEN  
** Bobby, is dis straight-up necessary?

 **BOBBY  
** Just a funky-ass belt of Holy Gin N Juice n' shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Shouldn't hurt.

 **ELLEN  
** (Bitch lifts tha blasted glass ta her grill n' swallows tha water) Whiskey now, if you don't mind.

 **DEAN  
** Ellen, what tha fuck happened, biatch? How'd you git out?

 **ELLEN**  
I wasn't supposed to. I was supposed ta be up in there wit dem hoes else.  
(Scoffs)  
But we ran outta pretzels, of all thangs. Dat shiznit was just dumb luck.  
(Bitch dranks tha whiskey BOBBY poured fo' her n' exhalez sharply)  
Anyway, thatz when Ash called. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Panic up in his voice.  
(Sighs)  
Dude holla'd at mah crazy ass ta look up in tha safe. Then tha call cut out. By tha time I gots back, tha flames was sky-high fo' realz. And dem hoes was dead as fuckin fried chicken. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I couldn't done been gone mo' than fifteen minutes.

 **SAM  
** Sorry, Ellen.

 **ELLEN**  
(Tearin up)  
All dem phat playas took a dirt nap up in there, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho fo' realz. And I gots ta live.  
(Scoffs)  
Lucky mah dirty ass.

 **BOBBY  
** Ellen, you mentioned a safe.

 **ELLEN  
** A hidden safe we keep up in tha basement.

 **BOBBY  
** Demons git what tha fuck was up in it?

 **ELLEN  
** No

(Bitch pulls up a map from her pocket, unfoldin it n' settin it down on tha table. Well shiiiit, it has nuff muthafuckin black lines n' Xz on dat shit.)

 **DEAN  
** Wyoming. What do dat mean? (Pointin ta tha lines)

  
CUT TO:

BOBBY is readin from a big-ass book

 **BOBBY  
** I don't believe dat shit. (Dude sets tha book on a table)

 **SAM  
** What, biatch? Yo ass gots something?

 **BOBBY  
** A lot mo' than dis shit. Each of these X's (Dude points ta tha marks on tha map) Is a abandoned frontier church- all mid-19th century fo' realz. And all of dem built by Samuel Colt.

 **DEAN  
** Samuel Colt- tha demon-killing, gunmakin Samuel Colt?

 **BOBBY  
** Yep fo' realz. And there be a mo' n' mo' n' mo' yo. Dude built private railway lines (Dude points ta tha black lines on tha map) connectin church ta church. Well shiiiit, it just happens ta lay up like dis y'all. (Dude connects tha points on tha map until tha shape of a star is made.)

 **DEAN  
** Tell me thatz not what tha fuck I be thinkin it is.

 **SAM  
** It aint nuthin but a Devilz Trap fo' realz. A 100-square mile Devilz Trap.

 **DEAN  
** Thatz solid. Iron lines demons can't cross.

 **ELLEN  
** I've never heard of anythang dat massive.

 **BOBBY  
** No one has.

 **DEAN  
** And afta all these muthafuckin years none of tha lines is broken, biatch? I mean, it still works?

 **SAM  
** Definitely

 **DEAN  
** How tha fuck do you know?

 **SAM  
** All dem omens Bobby found. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I mean tha demons, they must be circlin n' they can't git in.

 **BOBBY  
** Yeah, well... they trying.

 **ELLEN  
** Why, biatch? Whatz inside?

 **DEAN  
** Thatz what tha fuck I've been lookin fo' for realz. And, uh, there be a not a god damn thang except a oldschool cowboy cemetery right up in tha middle.

 **SAM  
** Well whatz so blingin on some cold-ass lil cemetery or... whatz Colt tryin ta protect?

 **DEAN  
** Well, unless ...

 **BOBBY  
** Unless what?

 **DEAN  
** What if Colt wasn't tryin ta keep tha demons out, biatch? What if da thug was tryin ta keep suttin' in?

 **ELLEN  
** Now thatz a cold-ass lil comfortin thought.

 **DEAN  
** Yeah, you think?

 **SAM  
** Could they do it, Bobby, biatch? Could they git inside?

 **BOBBY  
** This thangz so powerful, you'd practically need a A-bomb ta fuck wit dat shit. No way a gangbangin' full-blood demon gets across.

 **SAM  
** No. (Pause) But I know whoz ass could.

 

  
EXT. WOODS - DAY

JAKE pulls onto a funky-ass backroad n' parks his hoopty up in front of a railroad track yo. Dude gets outta tha hoopty n' looks around. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Afta all dem moments, Jake turns round n' sees tha Yellow EAZAZEL Demon standin behind his muthafuckin ass.

 **AZAZEL  
** Howdy, Jake. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So, did you gotz a sick trip?

 **JAKE  
** I be here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. I did what tha fuck you asked. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Now what?

 **AZAZEL  
** Fifty miles, thataway. (Dude points up in tha opposite direction JAKE is standing, across tha railroad tracks) Therez a cold-ass lil cemetery. A crypt. Yo ass gots ta open dat fo' mah dirty ass. Think you can manage that, sport?

 **JAKE  
** Yo ass know what, biatch? Screw you n' yo' freaky orders. Go do it yo ass.

 **AZAZEL  
** Oh, I can't. I can't go dat way- not yet.

 **JAKE  
** Why not?

 **AZAZEL  
** I just can't. But if you gonna open dat crypt fo' me, you gonna need a key. (Dude pulls tha Colt from his jacket pocket n' holdz it up in tha air.)

 **JAKE  
** A gun?

 **AZAZEL  
** Oh, dis aint just any gun, Jake. This is tha only glock up in tha whole universe dat can blast me dead as fuckin fried chicken. (Pointin tha glock ta his head)

 **JAKE  
** Is dat so?

 **AZAZEL  
** Yep yo. Here, take dat shit. (Dude handz tha Colt over ta JAKE, whoz ass cocks tha glock n' aims it at his muthafuckin ass.) Oh, my. I be shocked at dis unforeseen turn of events, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. Go ahead, Jake. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Squeeze dat trigger n' shit. Be all you can be. This'll all be over n' shit. Yo crazy-ass game can go back ta normal. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. Of course, tha Army won't take you back 'cause you AWOL. But I be shizzle you could git yo' oldschool thang all up in tha factory back. But then, on tha other hand, tha rest of yo' game, n' yo' crew's, could be scrilla n' honey, game n' wealth, every last muthafuckin dizzle is ice-cream sundae fo' realz. And all you gots ta do is dis one lil thang.

 **JAKE  
** Why me son?

 **AZAZEL  
** Oh, Jake. It aint nuthin but gots ta be you, biatch. Ya Mom shoulda told ya, I been waitin fo' you fo' a straight-up long time. Yo ass is mah leader n' shit. Yo ass open dat crypt, n' you gonna git yo' army.

 **JAKE  
** Yo ass is poppin' off bout tha end of tha ghetto. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass.

 **AZAZEL**  
Fuck dat shit, not tha end- tha beginning... a funky-ass betta ghetto, where yo' crew is ghon be protected. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! This type'a shiznit happens all tha time. Mo' than dis shit. They'll be royalty. Buddy boy, you have tha chizzle ta git up in on tha ground floor of a thrillin opportunity. Whaddya say, biatch? It aint nuthin but yo' call.  
(JAKE lowers tha gun)  
Attababy.

 

  
CUT TO:

Nighttime. A cemetery gate opens n' JAKE enters, struttin towardz a cold-ass lil crypt. DEAN is shown standin behind a big-ass tomb, a glock up in hand.

 **SAM  
** Howdy, Jake.

SAM, BOBBY, n' ELLEN step tha fuck up from tha shadows, glocks raised.

 **JAKE  
** Wait... you was dead as fuckin fried chicken. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I capped you, biatch.

 **SAM  
** Yeah, biatch? Well next time, finish tha thang.

 **JAKE  
** I did hommie! I cut clean all up in yo' spinal cord, man. (SAM glances at DEAN, whoz ass lowers his wild lil' fuckin eyes briefly) Yo ass can't be kickin dat shit, yo. Yo ass can't be.

 **BOBBY  
** Okay, just take it real easy as fuck there, son.

 **JAKE  
** And if I don't?

 **SAM  
** Wait n' see.

 **JAKE  
** What, you a tough muthafucka all of a sudden, biatch? What is you gonna do- bust a cap up in me son?

 **SAM  
** It aint nuthin but a thought.

 **JAKE  
** Yo ass had yo' chance. Yo ass couldn't.

 **SAM  
** I won't make dat fuck up twice.

JAKE begins ta laugh.

 **DEAN  
** What is you smilin at, you lil biiiatch?

 **JAKE**  
Yo Lady, do me a gangbangin' favor. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Put dat glock ta yo' head.  
(ELLEN shakily points her glock at her temple)  
See dat Ava hoe was right. Once you give up in ta it, there be a all sortz of freshly smoked up Jedi mind tricks you can learn.

 **SAM  
** Let her go.

 **ELLEN  
** (Voice trembling) Shoot his muthafuckin ass.

 **JAKE**  
You'll be moppin up skull before you git a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirty-ass blasted off.  
(Pauses)  
All Y'all, put yo' glocks down. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Except you, dopeheart.  
(Three glocks drop)  
Okay. Nuff props, biatch.

JAKE turns round n' pulls tha Colt outta his thugged-out lil' pocket. While he is insertin it tha fuck into tha crypt, DEAN n' BOBBY grab ELLEN before dat thugged-out biiiatch can blast her muthafuckin ass just as SAM blasts JAKE four times up in tha back. JAKE falls onto tha ground, n' SAM strutts ta stand over his muthafuckin ass.

 **JAKE  
** (Gasping) Please... don't. Please.

SAM blasts JAKE three mo' times up in tha chest. Blood spattas onto his wild lil' face. ELLEN n' BOBBY strutt past SAM, wit BOBBY starin at his ass hard. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! DEAN strutts over ta peep JAKE, then SAM, whoz ass wipes tha blood from his wild lil' face.

Da four look over ta tha crypt as two separate engravings on tha crypt spin up in different directions, then stop.

 **BOBBY  
** Oh, no.

 **ELLEN  
** Bobby, what tha fuck is it?

 **BOBBY  
** It aint nuthin but hell.

DEAN pulls tha Colt from tha Crypt.

 **BOBBY  
** Take cover- now!

All four run behind tombstones as tha doors ta tha crypt burst open. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch fo' realz. A big-ass black mass erupts from tha other side n' blasts outward. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Da camera spans up n' shows tha demons breachin tha Devilz Trap n' escaping.


	5. ACT FOUR

Black demon smoke continues ta pour from tha crypt, wit individual trailz of smoke harin off up in different directions. BOBBY n' ELLEN, DEAN n' SAM is takin cover behind some tombstones nearby.

 **DEAN  
** What tha hell just happened?!

 **ELLEN  
** Thatz a thugged-out devilz gate fo' realz. A damn door ta hell.

Da railway iron is shown bein bent up in two n' a pair of hairy-ass legs crossing, while a funky-ass black demon smoke trail goes up tha other way.

 **ELLEN  
** Come on! We gotta shut dat gate!

 **DEAN  
** checks tha Colt fo' bullets.

 **DEAN  
** If tha demon gave dis ta Jake... then maybe...

Thunder crashes n' tha Yellow EAZAZEL Demon appears behind DEAN yo. Dude flings tha Colt outta DEANz hand n' tha fuck into his own. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Dean looks astonished.

 **AZAZEL  
** Thugs shouldn't fuck wit Daddyz guns.

Dude throws DEAN tha fuck into tha air, where DEAN hits his head on a tombstone n' lies there, stunned.

BOBBY, ELLEN, n' SAM is strugglin ta close tha crypt door. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. SAM looks over n' sees DEAN down, n' then sees tha AZAZEL whoz ass looks at SAM n' smiles.

 **SAM  
** Dean!

Dude lets go of tha gate door n' runs toward his brother.

 **AZAZEL**  
(Throwin SAM against a nearby tree.)  
I be bout ta git ta you up in a minute, champ. But I be proud as a muthafucka of you- knew you had it up in you, biatch.  
(DEAN is strugglin upright. Da AZAZEL throws his ass against a post.)  
Sit a spell.  
So, Dean... I gotta fuck you, biatch. Yo ass see, demons can't resurrect people, unless a thugged-out deal is made. I know, red tape- it'll make you nuts, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. But props ta you, Sammyz back up in rotation.  
(Laughs)  
Now, I wasn't countin on dat yo, but I be glad. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I was horny bout his ass betta than Jake, anyhow. Tell me- have you eva heard tha expression, "If a thugged-out deal soundz too phat ta be true, it probably is?"

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass call dat deal good?

 **AZAZEL**  
Well, itz a funky-ass betta shake than yo' daddy eva got. And you never wondered why, biatch? I be surprised at you, biatch. I mean... (AZAZEL approaches DEAN ta drop a rhyme ta his ass face-to-face) you saw what tha fuck yo' brutha just did ta Jake, right, biatch? That was pretty cold, wasn't it?  
(Chuckles)  
How tha fuck certain is you dat what tha fuck you brought back, is 100%, pure, Sam?  
(SAM, watching, looks horrified; it aint clear whether or not his schmoooove ass can hear they conversation. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. In addizzle ta black demon smoke, what tha fuck appears ta be pimps is now also strutting.)  
(Laughs)  
Yo ass of all playas should know, thatz whatz dead, should stay dead as fuckin fried chicken. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Anyway... props a funky-ass bunch. I knew I kept you kickin it fo' some reason. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Until now, anyway. I couldn't have done it without yo' pathetic, self-loathing, self-destructizzle desire ta sacrifice yo ass fo' yo' crew.

As tha AZAZEL cocks tha Colt n' aims it at DEAN, JOHN WINCHESTER grabs tha demon from behind. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Da body tha demon possessed falls ta tha ground, tha glock still up in hand, while JOHN n' tha cloud of smoke dat was tha AZAZEL wrestle. Da demon pushes his ass ta tha ground n' entas tha body once mo' n' mo' n' mo'. When da perved-out muthafucka standz up, DEAN is pointin tha COLT at him, n' blasts his ass up in tha ass. Da demon then falls ta tha ground, dead as fuckin fried chicken.

BOBBY n' ELLEN finally close tha gate doors n' turn ta peep JOHN. DEAN standz up n' faces his fuckin lil' dad. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! JOHN strutts forward, n' smilez at DEAN, puttin his hand on DEANz shoulder n' shit. Both is teary, n' SAM approaches; DEAN n' JOHN both peep SAM, n' JOHN n' SAM nod at each other n' shit. With another peep DEAN, Jizzy steps back n' disappears tha fuck into white light.

DEAN n' SAM peep each other.


	6. ACT FIVE

CUT TO:

DEAN n' SAM stand over tha demonz tokin body, astonished.

 **DEAN  
** Well, check  _that_  off tha to-do list. (laughs a lil)

 **SAM  
** Yo ass done did dat shit.

 **DEAN  
** I didn't do it ridin' solo.

 **SAM  
** Do you be thinkin Dad straight-up... do you be thinkin he straight-up climbed outta hell?

 **DEAN  
** Da door was open. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. If mah playass stubborn enough ta do dat shit... it would be his muthafuckin ass.

 **SAM  
** Where do you be thinkin he is now?

 **DEAN  
** I don't give a gangbangin' fuck.

 **SAM  
** I kind of can't believe it, Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I mean... our whole lives, every last muthafuckin thang... has been preppin fo' this, n' now I... (Chuckles) I kind of don't give a fuck what tha fuck ta say.

 **DEAN  
** I do. (Dude leans closer ta tha body) That was fo' our momma... you lil hustla of a funky-ass biiiatch.

  
CUT TO:

SAM n' DEAN struttin towardz tha Impala. DEAN opens tha door. Shiiit, dis aint no joke.

 **SAM  
** Yo ass know, when Jake saw mah dirty ass... dat shiznit was like da perved-out muthafucka saw a pimp. (DEAN, stopping, shuts tha door ta stand next ta SAM n' hear his muthafuckin ass.) (Scoffs) I mean, hell, you heard him, Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Dude holla'd he capped mah dirty ass.

 **DEAN  
** Glad da thug was wrong.

 **SAM  
** I don't be thinkin da thug was, Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. (pause; SAM looks at DEAN) What happened, biatch? Afta I was jabbed?

 **DEAN  
** I already holla'd at you, biatch.

 **SAM  
** Not every last muthafuckin thang.

 **DEAN  
** Sam, our laid-back asses just capped tha demon. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Can we big-up fo' a minute?

 **SAM  
** Did I die?

 **DEAN  
** Oh, come on.

 **SAM  
** Did yo dirty ass push yo' ass fo' me, like Dad did fo' yo slick ass?

 **DEAN  
** Oh, come on! No!

 **SAM**  
(continuin ta peep DEAN)  
Tell me tha real deal.  
(DEAN sniffs)  
Dean, tell me tha real deal.

 **DEAN  
** Sam... (Chuckles)

 **SAM  
** (Voice breaking) How tha fuck long do you get?

 **DEAN  
** One year. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. (SAM nods, tears up in his wild lil' fuckin eyes.) I gots one year.

 **SAM  
** Yo ass shouldn't've done dis shiznit yo. How tha fuck could you do that?

 **DEAN  
** Don't git mad all up in mah face. Don't you do dis shit. I had to. I had ta stay locked n' loaded fo' you, biatch. Thatz mah thang.

 **SAM  
** And what tha fuck do you be thinkin mah thang is?

 **DEAN  
** What?

 **SAM  
** You've saved mah game over n' over n' shit. I mean, you sacrifice every last muthafuckin thang fo' mah dirty ass. Don't you be thinkin I'd do tha same fo' yo slick ass, biatch? Yo ass is mah big-ass brutha n' shit. Therez not a god damn thang I wouldn't do fo' you, biatch. And I couldn't give a fuckin shiznit what tha fuck it takes, I'ma git you outta all dis bullshit. Guess I gotta save yo' ass fo' a cold-ass lil chizzle.

 **DEAN  
** Yeah.

 **ELLEN  
** (Approaching) Well... Yellow-Eyed Demon might be dead as fuckin fried chicken. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. But a shitload mo' gots all up in dat gate.

 **DEAN  
** How tha fuck nuff you think?

 **SAM  
** Hundred. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Maybe two hundred. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! It aint nuthin but a army. Dat punk unleashed a army.

 **BOBBY  
** Hope ta hell you thugs is ready. 'Cause tha war has just begun.

 **DEAN  
** Well, then ... (smiling)

Da scene cuts ta SAM n' DEAN openin tha Impalaz trunk. DEAN throws tha Colt inside n' closes dat shit.

 **DEAN  
**...we gots work ta do.


End file.
